英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)
笑話(huà)是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂(lè)的一種常見(jiàn)語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,其目的在于在會(huì)話(huà)過(guò)程中傳遞和激發(fā)幽默感。小編精心收集了短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文笑話(huà)，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文笑話(huà)篇1
I Want Her to go Nuts
我要讓她發(fā)瘋
Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫(huà)肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫(huà)家說(shuō)：“畫(huà)我?guī)е@石耳環(huán)、鉆石項(xiàng)鏈、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”
But you're not wearing any of those things.
“但你現(xiàn)在沒(méi)帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”
I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.
“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說(shuō)，“萬(wàn)一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會(huì)立刻再婚。我要讓那個(gè)女人為尋找這些珠寶而發(fā)瘋。
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文笑話(huà)篇2
Three pastors
三個(gè)牧師的故事
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
三個(gè)南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個(gè)說(shuō)道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來(lái)臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.
另外一位說(shuō)：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請(qǐng)人把整個(gè)地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!
第三個(gè)牧師說(shuō)：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會(huì)的一員......從此一只也沒(méi)有再回來(lái)過(guò)。”
短一點(diǎn)爆笑英文笑話(huà)篇3
A preacher is buying a parrot
一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡
"Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。
"Oh, absolutely. Its a religious parrot." the storekeeper assures him.
“哦，絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡。”店主保證說(shuō)。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lordsprayer, and when you pull on the left, he recites the 23rd Psalm."
“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的這些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右面的這根，它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng)，當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左面的那根，它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)”
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō)，“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩條繩子，會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去的，你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。
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